I was born in Quebec (Canada). Early, my life was marked by sexual abuse. From then on, I found refuge in silence.
At the age of twelve, I started playing transverse flute. Music gave me something to live for and my dream was to become a concert performer. I therefore pursed my studies at the university level and, while I was an undergraduate student, I developed a major jaw problem. I had to stop everything. This problem would completely prevent me from playing; my dream had collapsed.
At that time, I already had behavioural problems such as affective dependence as well as alcohol and drug addictions. I was suffering from feelings of culpability, shame, anger, and hatred. My self-esteem was demolished and I wanted to die.
Later on, two children were born. Then came the separation from their father and the free fall. I was desperately seeking love and would fall in the arms of whoever would say « I love you ».
One of the men lived with me during 10 years; the days were very difficult and threatening for my children and myself. I wasn't able to leave because I was really afraid. My third child was born after only six months of pregnancy.
A year later, the father of my two other children suddenly died. Also, the tension in the house kept rising. I was terrorize and all my attempt to leave the house failed.
One night I cried out to God, « If you exist, take me out of this house because I can’t take it anymore ». Three weeks later, my house caught on fire, while my children were there by themselves. When I arrived, the fire had already been extinguished. The firemen and police officers were still present. My elder son was on shock. My daughter had her hands cut because she had had to break a window to escape. As far as my three year old soon was concerned, he was missing. He was still in the house. The firemen found him without any sign of life. He spent four days between life and death followed by a month at the intensive care unit. By miracle, he had no aftereffects. The hands of my daughter healed with time. My elder son hardly recovered of those events. He dropped out of school, and started living here and there at his friends’ house, and on the street. He became homeless. This lasted six years.
My daughter rebelled and started drinking and taking drugs. She quickly shifted to hard drugs like cocaine and heroine. She hated me and could not bear my presence.
One day, I met a woman and we became friends. She would share her faith in Jesus and I would listen to her attentively. On a given morning, as my life was not going well, she came to visit. All I wanted was to die so my problems would end. She saw how depressed I felt and I told her everything about my life.
I was touched by the fact that she was not judging me and could feel her love. She then spoke to me about God. I told her how God did not know me or if he did, he had forgotten me long ago. She then invited me to her church. I decided to go; it was on Easter Sunday. When the music and songs started, it was as if I was hi by a lighting bolt. I started to cry and could not stop. The pastor spoke about Jesus, who He was and at the end he made a prayer. He prayed to God saying, «May your Spirit testify to my spirit that I am a child of God.» This was what I wanted more than anything else in the world. As of then, my life never was the same again.
I therefore returned to church, Sunday after Sunday. Despite the circumstances surrounding my life, peace and joy arose. Jesus set my free from my addictions and began a work of restoration healing the wounds of the past. Forgiveness also took place.
During the worship service at church, I would here the flute in my mind and tell God, «I don’t want to play the flute; anyhow, you know I’m not able to play anymore.» But I could not help but hear it. So I ended up saying yes to Jesus and told him, «Alright Lord, for you I will do it.» I therefore went back to the flute, fifteen years after ceasing to play.
One day, I suggested my daughter to participate in a youth retreat with the church; she was touched as powerfully as I had been. When she returned, she began a detox process. Day after day, she would stay in her bedroom alone with Jesus. He completely set her free from her addiction problem. Today, she plays piano for the Lord and, together, we give concerts and share our testimonies. She is currently completing a degree in criminology.
My elder son took contact with the family and started to come to church. He rented a small apartment and completed his secondary and collegiate studies in two years and a half. From homelessness, alcoholism, and drug addiction, he now studies literature at university and is entirely sober.
My youngest son is a handsome teenager who follows Jesus and plays clarinet.
And, on October 28th 2006, the Lord blessed me beyond all my expectations by giving me a wonderful husband.
Today, despite a persisting jaw problem, I play for the Lord; I also play to give hope to the hopeless. The testimony of my life confirms that Jesus alone can completely restore broken lives. If he could do it for me, my husband, my children, he can do it and desires to do it for all those who do not know him yet.
Through his death and resurrection, Jesus opened the way giving us access to God the Father. Jesus said, «I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.»
(John 14:6) «Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you.» (Matthew 6:33)
«My Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life.» (John 6:40)
«Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.» (Matthew 28:20)
Jesus is alive!
The Bible says, «Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.» (Acts 16:31)
«For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.» (John 3:16)
God wants to call you «my child» and, for this to happen, He says to you, «Believe in my son Jesus. He is the free gift I am making you because I love you.»
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